Last week I grabbed dinner at the mall foodcourt with my boys. It was around 9:00, and as we were leaving, the shops were closing down. As we walked past an udon shop, the kind where you can buy all sorts of fried foods to put on the top, I saw an employee take trays of food and dump it all in a garbage can. Nooooo! How could you waste all that good food? Couldn’t it be donated somewhere to help hungry people? Couldn’t you have planned better and prepared less in the evening so as not to throw away so much? I was shocked. And to think this is happening in restaurants all over the country EVERY NIGHT!

And, it’s also happening in marriages all over the country every night. After a long day of hard work, couples have no time left for themselves. Or they are too drunk to enjoy themselves. Or the television set gets turned on and communication is turned off. Upset or ambivalent, too many couples go to bed unsatisfied and alone, only to do it all over again the next day.

STOP! Please stop!!

Marriage is like a garden. Just like a garden, it takes hard work. After the hard work, we receive a harvest. But if all we do is waste the harvest, even through it away, then we are missing the point of marriage.

How do you have a harvest in your partnership? For example, how do my wife and I refresh our hearts and souls? By enjoying the harvest of our partnership goals. For example…

  1. Love and acceptance. We know that whatever happens, even when we are having a bad day, that we can find love and acceptance in our partnership.
  2. Forgiveness and grace. No matter the mistake, we know that grace will be shown and forgiveness granted. Even when pain is involved, we know that our partnership is a place where we can always receive forgiveness.
  3. Sex. We have really great sex. We have sex only with each other. We talk about what we enjoy. We know that sex is more than just a physical act, but that it is the joining of two hearts. And it’s wonderful.
  4. Generosity. We have more than we need and we love blessing others. We live modestly so that we can give money to others. We don’t fill every moment of the day with activities so that we can give time to our children and our friends.

The list goes on.

My wife and I love being married to each other. Of course everything isn’t perfect, but it is healthy. We laugh together and we cry together. We are glad that we are partners. We have never regretted the decision to marry one another.

Do we ever go to bed tired? You bet! Life is busy with four kids, a business and community commitments. But we don’t go to bed unsatisfied. Everyday, our souls enjoy the harvest that our partnership brings.

It is time for a harvest! Be refreshed in one another.

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